qotd

"A vice president of marketing at General Mills once painted for me a picture of the state of the American family dinner, courtesy of video cameras that the company's consulting anthropologists paid families to let them install in the ceiling above the kitchen and dining room tables. Mom, perhaps feeling sentimental about the dinners of her childhood, still prepares a dish and a salad that she usually winds up eating by herself. Meanwhile, the kids, and Dad, too, if he's around, each fix something different for themselves, because Dad's on a low-carb diet, the teenager's become a vegetarian, and the eight-year-old is on a strict ration of pizza that the shrink says it's best to indulge (lest she develop eating disorders later on in life). So over the course of a half hour or so each family member rooms into the kitchen, removes a single-portion entree from the freezer, and zaps it in the microwave.) Many of these entrees have been helpfully designed to be cooked by an eight-year-old.) At the sound of the beep each diner brings his microwaveable dish to the dining room table, where he or she may or may not cross paths with another family member at the table for a few minutes. Families who eat this way are among the 47 percent of Americans who report to pollsters that they still sit down to a family meal every night."

-- Michael Pollan, The Omnivore's Dilemma

I find this profoundly sad. I'd unpack my feelings as to why but today we have ANOTHER FREAKING SNOW DAY and the Diva is home, which means really thinking about something is impossible.

So, a question, what were your "family dinners" like when you were a kid? What are they like now?

Yes, technically, two questions. I know. Get over it.

Comments

[Netter]

When I was really young we'd sit down to real dinners who served them would depend upon which shift each parent was working, but as we moved into our teen years it was more catch as catch can with me preparing a full meal if we were going to sit down together. With our family of three, we often eat out or have takeout. If I or my husband cook, we invariably have to make something different for B who's 4 and doesn't always like grown-up food. We do almost always all sit at the dining room table together.

[Anna]

We ate what we were served and we were served what the grown ups ate. We ate together as a family every night. When I got older, if I didn't like what we were having (I hated beef stroganoff which was a regular on our table) I could make myself something, but I did it at the same time everyone else ate.

Now, it's just the two of us. We eat out about 1/3 of our dinners. We usually eat in front of the tv. Lately, we have been using the dining room and it's kind of nice, surprisingly relaxing. Of course, on Sundays we eat with the whole family (cousin, kids, sister). Old fashioned with dessert and everything. Those are a little more stressful for us though we're not doing the cooking, but way less stressful than the infrequent Sunday meals I remember eating at my grandparent's.

[Trish]

When I was a kid, we all sat at the table and ate the same food, which typically (thanks to mom's nursing school nutrition education) consisted of a serving of protein, a serving of starch, and two servings of veggies (like a salad and a hot veggie). We had to eat was was served, there were no separate accommodations, not even for my sister who was a vegetarian. You had to try things, you couldn't just say you didn't like them. You didn't like something, you just didn't eat it. You went hungry, it was your own damn fault. While I never learned to like liver or cooked spinach, I did end up very omnivorous and culinarily adventurous.

My husband had a completely different story. His single, working mom never managed to give the dinner routine teeth. By late grade school, she had given up, stocking the pantry with frozen pizza and mac and cheese.

I'd like to say that the hub and I follow my family's traditions, but not so far. About 3 nights a week, he has work/rehearsals. We have the bad habit of carting dinner up to the TV room to eat on our laps. We swear we want it to be different when we have kids, but if we can't make ourselves eat at the table, I don't know how we are going to make someone else do it.

[jennu]

Growing up, we'd have dinner together at the table, usually with the TV on to drown out the sound of my father's eating/bad table manners. (It was my mom who insisted on the TV.) When, in my early 20s, I tried a limited diet (food combining), I was stuck just eating the chicken she cooked and salad (skipping the rice), because she wouldn't let me near the stove/in her way.

Now, my husband and I (no kids yet) either eat at the table and talk or we eat at snack trays in front of the TV if we're tired or out DVR is so full that it's threatening to delete things.

[Melanie]

Growing up, all of us sat down to dinner at 5:30 p.m. and ate what we were given. Mom did most of the cooking (other than barbecue or tacos, which Dad did) and if we didn't like what she made we were still supposed to choke it down. This may be why I loathe tuna with a deep, burning hatred.

I don't think my husband sat down to family dinners except when he was visiting his grandparents. I'm trying to introduce more variety into his diet, since otherwise he'd happily live on cereal and chocolate milk.

Now, since it's just my husband and me, sometimes we'll eat at the table, but that's really infrequent. Mostly we graze., I may cook something a couple of times a week, but mostly it's eaten either watching a movie or at our separate computer desks.

[PL]

I've blocked the family dinners of my years at home from my mind. Repression is a great thing.

Dinners now are generally eaten in front of the TV and are oft eaten alone, save for the dog staring at me. Though The Boyfriend and I both work in theater, our schedules couldn't be more opposite. He tends to have construction work calls Monday through Wednesday evenings. I, on the other hand, have to be at work for actual performances, which are generally Thursday through Sunday. Sigh.

[April]

My family was completely dysfunctional, but we did somehow manage to eat supper together every night. I was forced to clean my plate. This explains why as a grown-up, I often eat everything except for the last bite or two.

Today, my husband, son and I eat dinner together every night at the table. I am very against the "clean your plate" philosophy. My son is a very picky eater, but he is very healthy. I usually have to fix him something different from what my husband and I eat. Also, I hate ground meat, so there are times when I fix 3 different meals for the three of us. But, we eat all together at the table. Even when we order pizza, we eat it at the table. Oddly enough, it's the same table where I was forced to eat food I hated as a child.

[karrie]

The content is similar--I grew up on a farm and we ate a lot of produce, homemade bread, etc.--but the company and setting is not. When my father was alive, we would all eat together and sit around afterwards playing checkers or a similar game. There was a lot of conversation and my parents often cooked "Sunday/family day"-style meals on the weekend that were more formal.

As an adult,I'm often the mom eating alone--in front of the laptop because my husband is at work or the store, and Max is in a ridiculously picky stage. When my mom lived with us, and still when she visits, she and I cook together, and sit down with Max and a bottle of wine. I do make an effort though--I enjoy cooking, so at least the plate my husband pops in the microwave when he walks in after I've gone to bed is usually unprocessed, wholesome food.

[Shelley]

As a kid, we ate around the dinner table, everyone eating the same balanced meal my mom made. I remember choosing which frozen vegetable from the little rectangle boxes -- remember those?? Peas, carrots, green beans, or mixed vegetables (which I hate because they contained lima beans). Dinner together is one of my best childhood memories, and we always had great conversations together.

Now we eat together at the dinner table, but if it's nice out we eat outside on the patio. Ola is the cook, and there are more one-pot meals than my mom made, but everyone eats the same thing -- we are fortunate that Linnea is fairly non-picky for being 4. Fewer frozen vegetables, but it's pretty much the same scene, which we both feel strongly about.

[Casey]

As a kid I got this weird mixture of "modern" 70s convenience foods like Tang and Swanson dinners combined with homegrown vegetables (fried okra anyone? eggplant quiche?) and meat cooked desert-dry. We ate dinner at 4 pm on weekdays because my dad got home from his teaching job at 3:45 and after dinner he'd nap before playing a gig (he's also a musician) until late. We either ate what was on offer or didn't eat. When my mom went back to work, we scavenged like hyenas until my little brother learned to cook.

Dinners now are between 6 and 7 b/c that's when Hombre is home and unwound a little. Sometimes we feed the kids first if we want some quiet time. We eat a lot of veggies and pasta, pizza, bison burgers, bean soup, etc. If the kids don't like what we're having they can make their own dinner or grab a piece of fruit, but we all sit down together and talk about our day.

[karrie]

Ok, worse than not eating at the table.

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php

[Heidi]

Dinner at home was always served between 5:20 and 5:30 when Dad pulled in from work. My SAHM loved (and still loves) cooking, so we wound up with quite a variety. Dinner was dinner and there weren't extra options. Even as a teen I rarely if ever cooked, which explains a lot about our early married years. The TV was almost always on the news and turned from the living room to face Mom and Dad, while we kids had our backs to it. As a very young child, I remember being sent out of the room sometimes for several minutes with no explanation. I realized much, much later that it must have been due to Vietnam War footage.

Nowadays we eat a family together dinner at the table at least 4 or 5 nights a week. About once a week we do a dinner on tray tables in front of the TV, but it's more like an event...not just that the TV is on during dinner. We pick a movie or watch Mythbusters or something. Never the news.

We went through a really awkward picky phase for awhile as Emily was falling off her growth curve and the pediatrician told us to feed her whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it. And although Matthew was fine, wieght-wise, it was entirely too much effort to try to enforce rules with him and ignore them for her. But that ended awhile ago, and now our deal is pretty much to eat what tiny portion you're served of everything and then you can have seconds of just the parts you liked. Sometimes Matthew (in particular) will forgo eating something he's convinced he'll hate. Then he usually comes back downstairs an hour or so after he's been put to bed and forages for cheese or strawberries or whatever he can squirrel away.

For working (or any) folks who don't want to think too much about what to cook, but who want variety and reasonable levels of nutrition ... I can heartily endorse the cookbook "Saving Dinner." They have a website and eight week-long dinner menu lists for each season of the year. And the book includes nutritional information and grocery shopping lists for each week, too. Very handy. They also will send email recipes, etc. They also do Low Carb, Heart Healthy, Gluten Free, etc. on their website.

[emily]

My parents + I (and my sister, if/when she was around) ate the same meal together at the dining-room table every night. I was occasionally allowed to read at the dinner table but often was forbidden. We were generally expected to make conversation. Standard American "balanced meals" were usually served, with some variations. We lived on a farm and ate meat EVERY DAY until my sister became vegetarian and my mom got more health-conscious -- then some things shifted a bit. I feel like I grew up in a happy, functional household and I have really fond memories of those dinners.

My husband and I eat dinner together every night -- we have pizza once a week but everything else is at least a little bit "homemade," although that sometimes means quesadillas. We ALWAYS eat in front of the TV and I often wish we would eat at the table, but we are usually so tired that we just want comfort. We do most of our chatting/catching up on our day during the cooking process rather than while we're eating.