Once upon a time, Lisa and Adrienne worked for the same alternative newsweekly. Now, both spend their respective lives mining their creative souls and leading hermit-like lives. And so an idea was hatched. Every week, one would send the other a sketch—either in illustration or word form—and the other would make a companion to the sketch. The result would be posted on both their blogs every week, just for grins. Even if the result isn't award-worthy, the exercise makes both minds more nimble. Hopefully.
I have been enlightened. My role in the universe has been made clear. My sole function is to return items to where they belong.
That pencil jammed into the sofa cushions? I’d be delighted to return it to the pen mug. It is what I was put on this earth for.
Your barrettes? Your hairbrush? Your headbands? I am their keeper. Please scatter them like so many flower seeds.
I am honored to know the righteousness of cleaning out your closet. My way is clear.
Those flip-flops you left in the middle of the kitchen that I then tripped over while holding the smoking hot pot of polenta? I shall return them to the shoe closet once the burns heal.
Just as the dung beetle has his role in the great cycle of life, I have mine. I live merely to roll your shit into a giant sphere.
Text ©Adrienne Martini; illustration ©Lisa Horstman. Until the end of time. Or something.
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I love this one.
Posted by: anj | August 17, 2011 at 10:06 AM
LOL! I love that she drew your Mary Tudor!
Posted by: Anna | August 17, 2011 at 12:27 PM
That there thing you just wrote? That is the Anthem Of The Wife And Mother. Every one of us was appointed Keeper Of The Stuff the instnt we walked out of the church/justice of the peace's office/Las Vegas chapel after our wedding, and our vows were renewed every time we came home from the hospital after another birth.
Why is this?
Posted by: kmkat | August 17, 2011 at 01:30 PM
This post was SO perfectly perfect! Doesn't matter if you're newly married, have young children, have teenagers, have an empty nest or are past celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, this rings positively true. I love it.
Posted by: Lee | August 17, 2011 at 01:46 PM
This is so true and it never ends. Even after the kids grow up and leave home, a certain amount of stuff remains (which for some reason, I am still responsible for).
Posted by: Karen | August 17, 2011 at 05:35 PM
This one's perfect. Why aren't these a book, yet?
Posted by: Heidi | August 18, 2011 at 09:03 AM
I laughed out loud at how funny but sadly true this is. However, there is also the yang to your ying. Not only do we return the smoking pile of crap each day to it's rightful place, but are followed at every turn by the little blighters asking "Where's my _______?"
Thanks for sharing, that made my day!
Posted by: Kerri Manley | August 18, 2011 at 03:20 PM
Dear, it's KARMA. I recall a few conversations about the floor not being a storage area.
Posted by: Sil | August 18, 2011 at 07:38 PM
Thank you. As a mother of a four-year-old, I needed to see this. Ah, the power of good company.
Posted by: Michele | August 24, 2011 at 10:12 AM
That illustration is excellent!
Posted by: Debra | August 25, 2011 at 08:42 AM