martinimade

Back when I was actively researching and writing Gothic, I read at least a dozen stories about moms who killed their kids. Each and every one broke my heart.

It wasn't the deaths of the kids that did it, even though that is certainly very, very sad. What got me was how similar each case was, how there was almost a template that you could fill out. Isolated (either in terms of physical proximity of other people or in terms of emotional proximity of same) mom who has had previous (if undiagnosed) bouts with mental illness finds herself talking to "Jesus" or "Satan" or "God" who tells her to kill her kids because they are evil. Because there is either no one else around for days on end or who is able to see that mom has gone right off the rails and is willing to open their god damn mouths about it, mom kills the kids in some kid of horrific, bloody way where the kids in question knew what was going on as it was going on. That's what gets me -- the one person who was the constant in these kids' lives -- because, clearly, there was no one else around who was willing to be responsible or, if that was too hard, present and engaged in some minor way -- is the one who causes them such fear and pain. I can't help but imagine what those kids' faces looked like. That's what gets me, every single time.

And, sadly, it has happened again. 

Part of me wants to write a book about moms who kill. There are lots of moms to choose from, certainly. But, apart from a few details, the stories wouldn't change, which would make for a really boring book.

Besides, spending months on end of having to research these stories and talk to the moms would completely blow my liquor budget and probably lead to a not inconsequential drug habit.