What with all the exams and shopping and cleaning and list-making and such, I didn't have as much time to sit around and fart about on the web today. Instead, a list (since I'm in that mode), which I'm calling "Actors I Have Known."*
-- The show was called Talking Bones. One night, an actress, who had been a pain in the ass since day one, informed me that she'd forgotten her underpants and that someone would have to go buy some for her.
-- The show was a bus-and-truck of Ain't Misbehavin'. One of the singers put a fist-sized hole in the crotch of her stockings. The show's Stage Manager called over the headset for someone to go get her another pair from the store, which is how I found myself wandering the aisles of a Meadville, PA, drugstore buying every last pair of Queen XXX-sized L'eggs pantyhose I could get my hands on.
-- The show was a community theatre production of The Miracle Worker. The actress in question was the little girl who was playing Helen Keller. And, really, the problem wasn't the kid but her mom, who one night during a tech rehearsal, before which it was announced that folks might want to be careful because we still building the set and there might be nails that didn't all get swept up and that everyone should keep their shoes on so as not to get tetanus, came up to the show's director and said "My kid could have stepped on this nail." She brandished the nail in question. "She has to be barefoot to really become Helen Keller, you know."
This isn't turning out to be as interesting as I'd hoped. Sorry about that. Um. Feel free to add your own.
* I don't mean Biblically. One of the few truisms I picked up during my many years in the theatre is Don't Get Involved with Someone Who Spends His (or her, natch) Time Pretending To Be Someone Else. Road to heartbreak, it is.