martinimade

My home computer has made it abundantly clear that its death will be sooner rather than later, I bit the bullet and bought a new one. The migration from one machine to the next has been less than smooth* - turns out the old computer wasn't saving things in a useful way - and that has thrown a wrench in the Martini-works.

Soon, I hope, this will all be but a distant memory. Until then, however, expect more erracticness than usual.

* I'm about to reach the "smashing both with hammers" stage and go back to writing letters. Which wouldn't be all bad, frankly.

"... but the thing that distinguishes American optimism from other kinds is its faith that tomorrow will be brighter than today, no matter what the facts. It's a peculiar form of magical thinking, and what makes it peculiar is its power to make the magic happen, to transform illusion into reality. Americans see the world as it is, imagine it as it could be, and make it so....I thought of Ronald Reagan declaring during the last recession, 'It's morning in America.' A realist would have looked at the country then -- suffering from double-digit unemployment and double-digit inflation, still embittered by its first lost war, humiliated by the hostage crisis and the disastrous rescue attempt in Iran -- and scoffed....Americans bought it because they wanted to believe. If you believe it, it will happen, and lo, it did."

-- Philip Caputo, The Longest Road (which is pretty dang good.)

Once upon a time, Lisa and Adrienne worked for the same alternative newsweekly. Now, both spend their respective days mining their creative souls and leading hermit-like lives. And so an idea was hatched. Every week, one would send the other a sketch - either in illustration or word form - and the other would make a companion sketch. The result would be posted on both their blogs every week, just for grins. Even if the result isn't award-worthy, the exercise might make both minds more nimble. Hopefully.

Harold believes in giving all potential Halloween costumes a good test run before the evening itself arrives. Sadly, this one, the one Harold calls “Wall with Curtain and Shoes” had to be placed on the reject pile. It turns out that lifting an entire living room was too much for Harold’s spindly arms  -- and the gag didn’t work with just one wall. All four were needed to get the right frisson of fear.

Also, it lacked eyeholes.

* I haven't laughed this hard in quite some time.

* Even though I have zero use for it, I still kind of want it.

* Please send me here. KTHX.

* I'm an adjunct professor. I'm in a union. And I know how bad this situation could be without the union.

* Love this - but don't have a set of stairs that it would work on.

* Wondering what to read next?

* I think I hurt myself. 

* Fascinating. (And what's most interesting in the "American" explanation.)

* More helpful than you might think.

* Any writer-types interested? (HT Heidi.)

* Ben Schott stole my idea. There must be a German cognate that describes this feeling...

Lucy the dog went for her bimonthly grooming at the end of last week. While fluffy corgis are cute*, they do pick up every burr, stick, and wad of gum within a six-foot radius of their perambulations. Velcro fur plus a low ground clearance will so that. 

Before:

The pantaloons.

But as I was editing the "after" shots, I realized you really can't tell a difference. I mean, I can but...

So, um, you're just going to have to trust me. 

* Essentially, there are two coat types for Pembroke corgis: smooth and fluffy. The smooth ones are the breed standard and require little maintenance; the fluffies are defective and higher maintenance (but a billion times cuter.)

"And how do you go crazy in a run? Well, you could always rip off your shoes and put them on your hands and clap them together and sing 'Turkey in the Straw.' You could moo and throw confetti at passing cars. You could stare at people as you run toward them and loudly repeat, 'I am the commander of the Starship Enterprise...'"

-- Marc Parent, The Newbie Chronicles, Runner's World Oct. 2013.

The day after I posted my last mitten update, four more pairs showed up.

These are from Fran in Buffalo, a repeat mitten-er. Thanks so much! They are in the bin.

(And if you're wondering why, click here.)

Also in that day's mail was an ominous letter from the FBI:

The letter enclosed wasn't all that horrifying. What made me uneasy was what was stamped on the face of the envelope. (Click on the picture to make it bigger.)

I'm always unnerved when a government agency tries to act all human. I prefer my bureaucracy faceless, thanks.

Finally, our cat Barney, the asshat, goes outside every morning to harass the local fauna. He has started hanging out in front of my office window, which is on our second floor and requires a jump onto the roof, and waiting for me to let him in. The dog has caught on to this.

You can almost hear the theme from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, yes?

Once upon a time, Lisa and Adrienne worked for the same alternative newsweekly. Now, both spend their respective days mining their creative souls and leading hermit-like lives. And so an idea was hatched. Every week, one would send the other a sketch - either in illustration or word form - and the other would make a companion sketch. The result would be posted on both their blogs every week, just for grins. Even if the result isn't award-worthy, the exercise might make both minds more nimble. Hopefully.

Lucy the dog has taken to gently nudging the back of my calf with her nose. We’ll be out for a walk. She’ll be trotting along beside (or, frankly, leading the way). She’ll drop back and just bop my leg with her schnozzle, then trot on like nothing has happened.

She does it at home, too, or out at the park. Just a quick touch to let me know she’s paying attention to where I am.

If I weren’t such an agnostic who leans pretty hard into atheist territory, I’d make some analogy to God’s love, how it is like the touch of a dog’s wet nose on the back of your calf. But given my skeptical bent, I can’t.

Still. It’s out there, should you choose to work with it.

* Assume an indestructible hair dryer.

* Weird things about America. And a reminder of one of the weirdest, in light of yesterday's tragedy.

* "So money."

* Oh, good! The patriarchy's dead. Here's what we'll miss.

* I love a good midden. (HT Heidi.)

* Word.

* How to edit.

* How do I love these?

* You are here.

* Makes me stabby.

* White people problems. (It's funny enough that I'll let the "Yani" misspelling go.)

* I, too, am "still progressing toward the standard."